The next morning was a Monday, my dad called me first at about 5am and I spilled my guts. I told him everything. I admitted my mistakes and begged for forgiveness and told him how afraid I was for my life. He listened, he was loving, but now that he knew; I knew there was no going back. I dropped my son off at preschool that morning and immediately went to the County Attorney’s office. I was there at 8am. I sat down with him and again cried and spilled my guts. I admitted every single mistake and begged him to help me, to save me, to keep me safe. I had been talking to [L] prior to going to the County attorney’s office, I didn’t want him to suspect anything. He was “worried about my dad” and kept checking in so I felt I had to keep responding. So my phone was open to our message screen and I had my phone between my legs while I was talking and somehow accidentally called him. He heard parts of the conversation and naturally he freaked out. I think he knew what was going on, he accused me of turning him in but I played it off to the best of my ability. Once again I used my dad as a lie and told him that with my dad in such a serious health situation I felt I had to be honest with him about everything going on with [L] he deserved to know the truth just in case something happened. It was a horrible lie but it also bought me time and safety and my dad gave me full permission that morning to say whatever I needed about him to stay safe.
I then went and did the exact same thing, I spilled my guts to the judge who issued the order of protection. Since I had never withdrawn it, it was still effective and he explained to me that even though I had allowed the contact [L] was still in violation. There are no legal ramifications for the victim having contact with the offender only with the offender having contact with the victim. The order of protection clearly and specifically states that even if contacted by the victim the offender is not to have any contact or respond. He advised me to cut off all communication and restate that I wanted no further contact even though I had previously allowed it. It’s hard to charge and prosecute someone when the victim has allowed it but by sending that message I’m providing physical proof that I didn’t want the contact. I then went to the detective on my case and again spilled it all and he told me the same thing, and to report any contact after that message immediately.
I finally sent the message. I bawled and retyped it a million times but basically, I told [L] I would not accept any further contact from him. The restraining order was still in effect and I plan on reporting it and enforcing it if he contacted me again. I had already talked to law enforcement, the judge, and county attorneys and they know everything and will take action if you contact me.
I immediately started receiving phone calls. Even still I wanted so badly to answer, to explain why I needed to break off contact, to justify my actions and reasoning behind it, to tell him I still loved him and I wished him the best but I couldn’t risk myself or my child. It was done. The first voicemail was him crying, begging me not to leave him, he said he was in the top floor of an apartment complex working that didn’t have windows and he wanted to throw himself out of one. The second voicemail was a threat on my child. The third he said he was crying in a port-a-potty and could not keep his promise not to kill himself any longer. He couldn’t live without me.
I’ll admit, I almost didn’t report the first voicemail. Of course he was shocked and upset, him threatening suicide was nothing new. It was his go to, to guilt me to talk to him or take him back at this point. The second voicemail, once again I saw red. YOU DO NOT THREATEN MY CHILD AND GET AWAY WITH IT. I went straight to the police. I had an arrest warrant issued almost immediately, especially since I had already explained the entire situation to the judge the day before.
I was terrified of him coming back to town and finding me before they picked him up. I called the police dept of the city he was in and they told me there was nothing they could do. First they told me they couldn’t do it because it was an out of county warrant. I told them that was complete BS the warrant said “Any officer in the [STATE]” and that includes them. They then told me they couldn’t pick him up because I couldn’t give them a specific location. I knew it was a new big apartment complex going up near a college with multiple buildings and I knew the work vehicles they used had giant, bright, colorful logos painted on them. They said that wasn’t enough. Finally I explained my fears to them, that if he made it back to [HOME TOWN] before he was picked up I would be in serious danger. They agreed if any of their patrol officers saw the vehicles I described they would pick him up but “they weren’t going to go driving around town looking for some guy” I said fine knowing there is no way you could miss these logos even if you were casually driving by.
Two hours later they called me and told me he was in custody.
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