The Abuse – [NAME REDACTED]

After the PFMA

In the aftermath of the first PFMA [L] was charged with I was lost and confused…. I was overwhelmed and then he moved…..and a “fun” story about the one time I went to visit him after he moved.

The night [L] tried to kill me

**TRIGGER WARNING** This is a very graphic account of the worst night of abuse I survived. This is the night I struggle with the most, this is physical violence and can be very disturbing to read to anyone but especially to those who have lived with physical violence in the past. There are other posts where I explain why I stayed and other things without any explanations or depictions of physical violence. See “Trauma Bonding- Why I Stayed” if you would like to know more without the violence.

Trauma Bonding- Why I stayed

An unfinished post: trying to describe in a general way why I went back. In other posts I describe (or will describe) the circumstances around each individual decision and each separate time I went back, but with this I tried to just give a general overview of the similarities and some of the psychology behind why it was so hard to leave each time I did, and why I kept coming back.

The Beginning

Let’s start from the beginning I guess….. 2017, I was a single mom, and engineering student, I was living and loving life. I was a little wild, I loved to dance, I loved to be the center of attention, I was unapologetically myself. I had my son at 19, his dad was in and outContinue reading “The Beginning”